I’ve spent the past two weeks sitting with some criticisms of my leadership raised by a former team member. I’m grateful to my community and to my current team for giving me the time and space to sit with these criticisms; sitting with them allowed me to disengage from defensiveness and ask instead what accountability could serve. Why would I hold myself accountable? Because I want to feel better? Because I want the bad or uncomfortable feelings to stop? Because I want urgent absolution?
Or do I want to do the work? Do I want to engage with my own behavior in a way that can hopefully lead to a better future for my team, for my business, for my industry, and for my community? I am grateful for the space to do the hard, messy, painful work.
In my growth and development as a leader of a small business with a wide reach, I’ve had to learn some difficult lessons, and I learned those lessons in relationship with people who have feelings and humanity. In order to uphold my values, I want to acknowledge my contributions to their experiences here. (I haven’t been invited to engage in generative resolution with the team member who raised their concerns, and in order to respect their emotional boundaries, I have not reached out to them.) I’m grateful for this call-in, and I am sorry that I caused harm.
When I opened Rebel Rebel 3 years ago, I knew that I wanted our team to function as a feminist business. I defined a feminist business, as I still do, as a business in opposition to patriarchal values like hoarding of resources, scarcity mindset, and individualism. This desire was tied to my experiences as an intimate partner violence survivor, my experiences as a lifelong employee in the restaurant industry, and my thoughts around how feminist spaces engage with questions of systemic violence toward all people. As the business expanded and quickly grew, my values remained the same, but my understanding of how to uphold them evolved significantly.
In the first year of business, it became clear to me that I needed to develop the skills and knowledge required to effectively lead a rapidly evolving business for which I had no precedent. We started with a team of four people and a dynamic that relied heavily on my mentorship, often through methods of informal communication; it’s true that this was not a healthy structure for a growing organization with a non-traditional value set. I assumed that the team consented to the evolving nature of the workplace we were building, and that we would figure out a path forward together. Over time, however, I realized that I should not have made those assumptions, and that those assumptions caused harm.
As I’ve learned, I’ve cultivated a deeper understanding of the need to get the explicit consent of team members in the processes of growth associated with a developing workplace. I’ve also learned the importance of successfully managing the expectations of the team in order to responsibly employ people. I want to acknowledge that some former employees’ expectations of me and of their roles here were not met, and I hear the ways in which those mismanaged expectations contributed to the feelings and harm they described. I want to affirm their experience.
In an effort to model transparency in accountability, I’m sharing the steps I’ve taken in the last year to improve my leadership and our workplace. I want to make it clear that I’ve been transparent with my current team about the leadership skills that I’m working on and my plans to improve as a business owner. I’ve also been honest with myself about needing leadership support, and in January of 2021, I enrolled in HOMEROOM, a group business coaching program directed by Business Casual. Thanks in part to the coaching I’ve received, and thanks in part to feedback from my current team, I’ve identified several areas for improvement, both for my leadership skills and for the business overall. These areas for improvement are evolving and will change over time with the feedback and consent of the team. They are:
Conflict engagement and resolution: Previously, we did not have solid systems in place for conflict engagement and resolution. This led to poor communication around job performance and interpersonal conflict. We now have a system that uses a multi-step, mediated conflict engagement process borrowed in part from the Zingerman’s hospitality training program. (Already in place.)
Giving and receiving feedback: Previously, we did not have solid systems in place for the giving and receiving of positive or critical feedback. We now have a series of feedback forms as tools to help direct feedback, and giving and receiving feedback is listed as a job requirement for all team members in our employee handbook. Feedback is invited and given during weekly meetings, and will be rolled into performance reviews (the structure of which is under redevelopment) going forward. (Already in place and in redevelopment.)
Management structure: Previously, management structure was not clearly defined; who to escalate to was confusing, and this led to poor communication with regard to feedback and expectations. We now have an entirely new management structure, including an Operations Manager, Wine Director, Director of Literature, and Assistant General Manager. All of these roles have clearly defined responsibilities, and all duties are clearly defined in our employee handbook. New team members are presented with and consent to their job descriptions in advance of their onboarding. (Already in place and in redevelopment.)
Founder job description: Related to the overhaul of the management structure, I will be redefining and clarifying my role on the team. My hope is that this will also clarify needs and manage expectations around my contributions to the team. (In development.)
Explicit limitations: Previously, while it was clearly stated what I can provide to team members (living wages, manageable hours, health insurance, paid time off for vacation and mental health needs), what I can not provide was not explicitly stated. We now have several frameworks for the explicit statement of limitations, including the financial floor and ceiling we are able to provide team members, and a clear, written understanding that while I strive to provide a workplace that is empathic and intentional, team members’ employment is contingent upon their contributions to the workplace—I am not trying to model “workplace as family.” The financial limitations are stated during a step in our new hiring process, and workplace limitations are stated explicitly on our hiring page and in our employee handbook. (Already in place.)
Enrichment opportunities: Previously, enrichment opportunities for team members (education, travel, and other R&D opportunities) were provided on a case-by-case basis. This, coupled with interpersonal dynamics inherent to a small team, led to confusion around boundaries and relationships. Moving forward, the company’s financial contribution to enrichment opportunities will be budgeted at the end of the fiscal year for the following fiscal year and will be distributed to eligible team members in equal share for activities and programs approved by the Founder. Any team enrichment opportunities will be agreed upon by majority vote by the team. (In development.)
Hiring and termination: Previously, the Founder held executive decision-making power around hiring and termination of team members. We have since adopted a system of hiring and termination by committee, requiring majority vote by the Board of Directors. (Already in place.)
It’s my hope that clearer expectation-setting, regular feedback, and more intentional leadership will lead to a better work environment for everyone moving forward. I can promise that I will continue to seek out and invite critical feedback from my team to help ensure that the lessons I’m certain I’ll continue to learn don’t cause undue harm.
If any member of the community would like to discuss any of this with me, I invite your communication. (I really mean this.) Because of the complex nature of these issues, I don’t feel social media is the best place for dialogue. Please feel encouraged to contact me via the “Say Hello” form on this website; I will make myself available via phone/zoom or in-person meeting, and I will make every effort to listen and learn as I continue to grow as a leader and a member of this community.
Please also be aware that this response is being written with the consent of my current team, and my desire to protect their privacy and honor the consent of everyone means I won’t be discussing specific details of interpersonal exchanges under any circumstances.
I do want to express my gratitude to the people who have held me in community as I’ve taken the time to reflect on my leadership. Your empathy has been profound, and I hope I can continue to share these spaces with you.
Be well,
Lauren